Insha'Allah

I've noticed over the three and a half months that I've been here that people here are chronically stressed. Even in times of calm, there is always the potential for that to change at any moment, and as people go about their daily life and deal with the realities of living under occupation - depressed economic conditions, checkpoints, long commutes due to various obstacles (checkpoints, Israeli-only roads, the separation wall) - they persevere.

This isn't to say that aren't upset, but rather that somehow they have developed some coping mechanisms in order to get by. The number one method: Insha'Allah.

One of the first phrases I learned in Arabic is Insha'Allah, which can be translated as "God Willing." It is used with such frequency that it is almost a joke, especially used in the following context: Insha'Allah, we will get your space heater tomorrow. (Which can also be interpreted as-you may get a heater sometime in the next week or so.)

However, in other times, Insha'Allah takes on another layer of meaning. Insha'Allah, it will only take about 1 hour or so to get to Bethlehem (about 12 miles/20 km away), Insha'Allah, the wait at the checkpoint will not be too long. Insha'Allah, it will rain and we will have water in our cistern.

It is in this context that the grace of this phrase is revealed. It is a turning over of control to Fate, to God. It isn't a surrender to the occupier, but a willingness to allow things to unfold as they do and to not hold on to the anger and stress that the realities life in an occupied land brings, for by holding on to it you bring upon yourself stress-related illnesses and disease.

I am still learning to say Insha'Allah. It has not been an easy time trying to adjust to this life. I am so used to my freedom. I am so used to people understanding me when I speak and understanding what others say. I am so used to feeling secure. I am so used to just picking up the phone to make a coffee date. There are a hundred things that I used to take for granted that I will never take for granted again.

It is hard for me to say, "Insha'Allah, the wait at the checkpoint will not be too long" when I know only too well what it is like to move without restriction. My instinct and everything I have known in my life up until now resists.

Insha'Allah, it will get easier.